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Being Authentically YouI once read a fascinating, but all too realistic, story about a woman who opened her closet door and out tumbled various pieces of sporting equipment and memorabilia.While these possessions represented the last decade of her life, she didn't realize until putting them all away that she felt no connection to anything in her closet. You see, this poor woman had put aside her own interests for the hobbies of a long line of significant others. Standing before her newly straightened shelves, she recalled relationships with Partner A in the water skis, Partner B in the bicycle helmet, and Partner C with a paintball gun. She asked herself, “How could I have given up so much of myself so that nothing in my closet reflects my own interests?” My simple answer is that she had a desire to fit in and be accepted. It's a pretty safe bet that if a woman wants to become her partner's ideal mate, she only needs to transform herself into that person. And it happens … again, and again, and again. Still, we wonder, what does this cost her? And, is it fair to her significant other? Maybe, most importantly, we need to recognize that following this plan of action leads her to never finding a true ideal mate. Like many of my coaching clients, I was raised with the unspoken messages of not asking for too much, and not being too vocal about my strengths. As a result, this upbringing and my need to be accepted after my divorce found me dating men who didn't require much from their partner. At the same time, they didn't offer much, either. If you were looking for your ideal partner today, would you really be interested in someone whose only goal was to become your vision of a good mate? Would you want to spend time with someone who presented himself one way, but after the curtain was drawn, you saw something much different? Whether the person is a significant other or a female acquaintance, isn't this image a little unsettling? I don't believe most women are trying to fool a mate with smoke and mirrors, but I do fear that many transform their lives to match their partner's because they don't yet know who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, or how to measure their goals and values. A staggering number of women in my divorce workshops say, “I've given so much to my ex-husband and the family that I feel like I'm left with nothing. I couldn't even tell you my favorite color, or what I want for dinner.” My heart immediately goes out to these women because years ago, their words were mine. Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places. A few weeks ago, while preparing for an appearance on an Orlando news program, I had to confront my comfortable pattern of downplaying my strengths. In the length of a short guest feature, I had to explain the ways I help women, and why I'm good at my work. This moment was significant for me, and one I will remember every time I find myself wanting to go back to that old habit of not being true to myself. You can win in relationships and business by authentically knowing and being who you are, using the skills you bring to the table, and having a level of comfort that allows for flexibility and change. Women shortchange themselves by jumping into relationships before taking the time to fully discover and appreciate themselves. They don't stop to think about the characteristics they desire in a partner. Are you looking for your ideal relationship? Surprise—it all begins with being authentically you. About the author: Jennifer Snyder is the author of a self discovery workbook, The Time of Your Life: A Creative Sourcebook for Women. The Sourcebook can be ordered at http://www.timeofyourlifeafterdivorce.com Circulated by Article Emporium How To Get A Perfect Hair Cut The right hair cut can mean the difference between hours spent coercing every strand of your wayward hair into place or a style that falls perfectly into place with little prompting on your part. That is why it is so important to make sure that you have the perfect hair cut for yo... Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win… Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were attracted? It makes the heart bump, doesn't it? Have you ever stood on stage in front of a sea of faces that you know well and pulled out your notes to make a speech? Boy does the vibration of shaking liven you up! Throughout history, rightly or wrongly, many gustatory delights have been termed aphrodisiac foods, in the belief that consuming them contributed to one's desire for the opposite sex. 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Whatever your current situation I want to give you some food for thought… Your current level of love, passion and intensity for your everyday life is directly proportionate to how close you currently live to the purpose for... Choosing Your Wedding Colors Wedding dress, flowers, church, reception, cake topper, decorations, music AND wedding colors. Although it sounds daunting, choosing wedding colors is really quite simple. When choosing your wedding colors think about the different colors that you like most. You may want t... Black Hair Basics The typical hair and hair follicles of those of African descent are tightly curled, thus producing hair that spirals. Black hair also typically has a larger diameter than Caucasian hair and retains less water, thus its relative “kinkiness.” The many styling methods utilized on Blac... The Trouble With Moissanite Natural mined diamonds have been coming under a lot of heat recently. 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